Dubya’s America – a one fingered salute!

My boy dropped me off at work this morning. I walked in the doors and headed straight towards the back where the coffee shop is located (I need my morning caffeine). As I walked into the shop, I noticed yellow police tape and flashing lights outside the window. I asked the gal behind the register what the commotion was about. It seemed that someone had reported a suspicious package, natch. I shrugged it off and walked upstairs. I got into my office and settled in for the day. Suddenly, I heard some faint screaming followed by a very loud BOOM. I jumped as I wasn’t expecting it and thought…hmmm, well there goes the suspicious package. Of course they blew it up!

I didn’t think much more of it until lunch time. I started to peruse the news sites to see what the hubbub was all about – and lo and behold – it was indeed a “suspicious package” – a blue box chained to a light post in front of the Boston Stock Exchange building. But wait…there’s more……….. It seems that said suspicious package had a thin strip of rubber attached to it that ran straight across the road…OH MY SUSPICIOUS INDEED (pfft – retards).

What all the cops, the special units forces, the bomb squad and the INSANE RETARD who reported this “package” failed to realize was that this odd box was placed there by the Highway Department to monitor how many cars travel down that particular road each day – chained to the post to keep someone from stealing it. (Phew thank goodness nobody stole it – but blowing it up is such a better alternative to theft!)

This little scenario has probably cost the city thousands and thousands of dollars in police costs, bomb squad costs, traffic detail to deal with the detours…etc. In reality, it could’ve cost them 20 cents to call the highway department (most likely a phone number was written somewhere on the “suspicious” box) to verify it was indeed their box.

Thanks Dubya for this war on “terror” – I’d give ya a big thumbs up – but I think I might use a different finger instead!