And herein lays the reason the economy is in the toilet!

If I have ONE more work meeting to discuss productivity levels I will need to be placed in a padded cell.

Why is productivity low, you may ask…….Because we are all in freakin’ meetings discussing how to increase productivity!

I mean really….let’s sum up all our problems with one word, shall we….”meetings”.

And while I do believe that power point is a great invention, I need not see another power point slide of ANYTHING…..EVER….AGAIN!

And while I am on a roll….let’s outlaw the following words/phrases:

1) synergy
2) moving forward
3) FYI
4) let’s think outside the box

UGH!

(that sound you just heard was my head exploding)

If I hear one more report on Swine Flu, I am going to start pelting people with pork products!

As I rode the T to work the other day, I glanced to my right and saw a woman and her child wearing surgical masks and gloves. My eyes almost rolled to the back of my head!

I am tired (I would say sick and tired, but alas, the swine flu has not taken hold of me so I am wary of using the term “sick) of the over-hyped sensationalism surrounding this flu virus.

Nowhere in the media is it ever mentioned that roughly 36,000 people die of just regular flu viruses a year. If that is the case, why then are the less than 200 deaths attributed to swine flu causing fear and panic among the masses?

Additionally, this “outbreak”…or pandemic as they wish to call it….has very few “confirmed” cases. The media is reporting fictitious numbers based on “believed” cases. The people who are rushing to clinics with flu-like symptoms have not been tested (or the tests have not come back yet) for this virus.

Let us also look at Mexico, shall we? The majority of the cases seem to be coming from this country…Mexico City to be more precise. Mexico City has roughly 22 million people. 22 MILLION!!!!! That is a large population in a small area. It’s not surprising that a virus can spread among such a large group in such a concentrated space. And, the country as a whole is not world renowned for its healthcare system. Yes, many can complain the U.S. healthcare system is flawed or faulty but it is no where near the condition of Mexico’s healthcare system. In many circles, Mexico is still believed to be a Third World country.

And for those MENSA members, such as everyone’s favorite IQ winner, Paris Hilton, who feel that boycotting pork products is the way to avoid contracting this “dreaded disease”, I can only shake my head in disbelief at your ignorance and jump for joy in the knowledge that my favorite BBQ joint won’t run low on their famous pulled pork sandwiches. MMMMM, more for me!

This is not the Black Plague, people!!!!

Please stop feeding into the media maelstrom and allowing the news to overtake COMMON FUCKING SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enough!

My petition to save our brain cells!

Being that I have chosen New England as a home base, the schizophrenic weather patterns have driven me to watch the morning weather/radar reports on a daily basis. It is not abnormal for me to have the T.V. playing in the background as I dab on my foundation and lip gloss.

And here our story begins……

Once again the world waits for news on the latest and greatest story. Our eyes scan every magazine cover, every newspaper headline and wait for the interruption to our favorite T.V. program.

Britney Spears has been hospitalized!

C’mon people! This is verging on the ridiculous!!!!

Here are some interesting ideas for a HEADLINE news story:

1) The upcoming Super Tuesday primaries

2) Giuliani and Edwards dropping out of the race (as if they had a chance – but news, nonetheless)

3) Umm….this war thing over in Iraq – maybe you’ve heard about it once or twice?

4) The failing economy and proposed rebates (as if $600 would do much but pay down a bit of debt acquired due to the failing economy, but I digress).

5) The upcoming presidential election and the countdown of the last days of Bush (woohoo!)

Those are just a few tidbits from the top of my li’l ol’ noggin’. You see, I am losing IQ points on a daily basis as I am inundated with the latest celebrity sighting, rehab visit, panty-less car exit, and so on.

Are we so celebrity obsessed that these stories are more important than actual events that could make or break our very existence? “Celebrity” being a term coined by the media as I find nothing celebratory about any of these people with the exception of removing their antics from the front page.

Years ago the old Hollywood studio system churned out actors and actresses in a ready-made way. They came replete with a made-up back story and their sightings were carefully placed publicity ploys. Any scandal was duly swept under the rug and the public could enjoy their latest idol with nary a thought to their dastardly doings.

We need to bring this system back!!

I am sick and tired of these celeb-retards and fallen star stories. Celebrity scandal should not be front page news fodder but rather a Page Six blurb that one must dig for and seek out.

I do not need to turn on the news and see a police motorcade escort for some fallen pop-tart. I need to be informed and aware of the real issues that this world is facing. Whether or not Paris Hilton is wearing under wear or Nicole Richie eats a salad does not a news story make!

I am starting a petition! Let’s send all these fallen “idols” and paparazzi to a deserted island. We will air drop a supply of underwear (which apparently is desperately needed as money does not seem to buy these necessary accoutrements). They can then live their life as two tribes – a Survivor-esque reality existence, if you will. The famous-for-nothing-important tribe and the scandal obsessed photogs who chase them.

Then perhaps we can return to our regularly scheduled programming – the game of REAL life, or something of that sort.

Who’s with me?

This blog has been interrupted for a “breaking news” report!

In this celebrity infused society and this up-to-the-minute gossip laden world of the Internet, it not necessarily shocking to see the craziness that is surrounding the death of Heath Ledger. The nightly news carried “Breaking News” headlines across every screen and programs were interrupted to report his tragic demise. Bloggers such as Perez Hilton and celebrity rags such as TMZ are parading non-stop updates on his life, his last moments and his devastated loved ones. Bombastic air bags such as Nancy Grace are reporting, as always, speculation as fact. Our society hungers for the sensational and we seem to thrive on tragedy and drama!

His death is apparently fodder for all sorts of theories. People are crawling out from the wood-work and are being asked for their reactions. Whether their words are kind or not so kind, whether they knew him or did not is apparently not too important. However, they are obtaining their so called “15 minutes” and that is what this world seems to be about these days – fame and those falling from it!

In the rush for the latest breaking story, his parents learned of his passing through a news report. His family was not even notified of his death before the paparazzi were stationed outside his apartment photographing his body as it was wheeled away.

With the advent of the Internet and other such high speed means of communication all privacy is seemingly lost. A star tripping on the sidewalk is front page news within seconds of their plunge to the concrete. We devour every morsel of the sensational self destruction of our idols because it proves “they’re just like us!” Or is it that we wish to be just like them!?

And so the world watches in rapt horror and judges a man at the end of his life. His death is fodder for all sorts of theories which are then reported as fact and regurgitated endlessly.

Are we so hungry for tabloid scandal and celebrity that we fail to grasp that this was a HUMAN BEING!? Yes, he was a talented actor and he lived a portion of his life in the public view. However that does not give the world a license to invade their bubble of grief in such a formidable way. What people seemingly fail to grasp is there is more here than the tragic and early death of a young actor.

Death, by its very definition, is a sad occurrence but a fact of life nonetheless. Dying young is tragic. Leading every news story and invading the lives of those left behind is reprehensible. Because he played roles on screen his death gives us the license to violate the small bits of privacy that could be and should be left?

Whether the death was intentional or accidental, it does not take away the fact that this was a man, a son, a brother, a boyfriend, and a father. Heartbreak abounds and no one – NO ONE – is giving them the space to grieve or to just be.

We should all bow our heads in collective shame and allow this family to mourn in peace.

You say spoiled! I say rotten!

New England weather is temperamental on its best days. The forecast generally changes every 15 minutes and weekend plans have, as of late, been spent indoors dodging a sudden thunderstorm. Summer has managed to elude us…so far.

A few weekends ago, my summer plans of garden planting and an outdoor barbecue were pushed aside when the skies opened up and day became night in a matter of seconds. I plunked myself on the couch and played remote control bingo with the television. I somehow managed to land on a show called “My Super Sweet Sixteen” and was instantly transfixed. It was like a train wreck. I could not pry myself away and I sat on the couch, mouth agape, staring in horror at what flashed across the television screen.

If you are unfamiliar with this show, it is a reality show that depicts incredibly lavish “Sweet Sixteen” parties. These parties are planned by insanely spoiled teenagers and are paid for by their incredibly wealthy parents.

Oh!

My!

God!

There are no words!

This is one of the most self-indulgent horror shows I have ever seen. And sadly, it does not just exist in T.V.-land. Unfortunately, this has become a common theme in society today. The teenagers on this show throw temper tantrums if a car is not promised and delivered for their birthday gift. The sense of entitlement on this show and with teenagers in general is beyond belief!

Even in the work force I have come across recent college grads who expect the world handed to them on a silver platter. Having spent their lives being “taken care of” and never having suffered consequences for their actions, these “new to the work force” recruits seem to expect a six-figure pay day and a corner office within a year of being hired! Hard work doesn’t count for them because “mommy and daddy” said they are “special and should get what they want!”

Somehow, we have spawned a nation of “gimme gimme gimme” and the lesson of “working for what you want” has become obsolete. We coddle our children to the point that they are unable to do for themselves and they expect “mommy” and “daddy” to take care of things. These parents, under the guise of being a “good parent”, bully teachers into rescinding well-deserved bad grades and cater to their child’s every whim and desire. There are no life lessons in mistakes anymore because mistakes are never made. “No,” these parents say. “Not my child!” They con themselves into believing that by denying bad behavior and rewarding all behavior, a future leader is born. Sadly, with today’s administration as an example, this thought process is true!

Somehow, childhood is now spent in a protective anti-bacterial bubble of overindulgence. I am all for attachment-parenting….but c’mon!

What ever happened to the after-school job? The scraped knees instead of protective playsuits? Playing outside instead of on the latest and greatest gaming console?

What ever happened to the word “no”?

No, I am not a parent and I do not have any immediate plans to become one. However, I deal with the results of these “spoils” on a daily basis. We all do! Something has got to change! These children/teenagers have become nothing but narcissistic, technology-driven, wasteful, money-driven brats who believe they deserve everything and anything.

As I sat on the couch watching the end of “My Super Sweet Sixteen”, I could only muster one final thought:

No way! Not my kid!