Dumb….like me!

Very few things in this world make me speechless and very, very few things leave me so angry and emotional that I am left not only speechless but immobile and almost incapable of reacting.

Last night I was on the T. I worked a bit late so I managed to avoid the after work rush and catch a nearly empty train home. I don’t live far from my office and am usually on the T for roughly 20 minutes as I have only 6 stops until my exit.

I left my book at home and had nothing to keep myself occupied for the short trip to my station. I was left with the option of either reading the ads on the train or just sort of “people watching” while pretending like I was just staring into space.

I chose the latter.

As I was looking around the train I caught sight of three teenagers in pure fits of laughter. One of them stood up for a second and pretended to sort of limp and drag his leg and then proceeded to fall back into the seat, holding his sides from the pain of his snickering. One of the other teens started to speak loudly, affecting the speech pattern of hearing impaired person. He then started drooling and giggling as he was egged-on by the other boys.

I stared at them for about thirty seconds before I realized what was happening.

Sitting directly across from these kids was a young boy. The boy in question had Down’s Syndrome and he sat there watching as these teens taunted and made fun of him.

I…..I…..I…..couldn’t say a word. I was so angry I was stunned into silence. The train lurched to a stop and the teens guffawed their way off.

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I have a brother. I love him with every ounce of my being (and probably more than he is aware).

My brother is mentally handicapped. He is a gentle giant of sorts and I have always likened him to a “Lenny” type from “Of Mice and Men”.

Years ago when I was in my early 20s, I picked my brother up from his job. It was a rare rainy day in L.A. and my mother asked if I would take him home so he didn’t have to take the bus in the torrential downpour.

We drove in silence for about 5 minutes until my brother started asking questions about various bits of my life. At that point in time we didn’t’ see each other very often. I was living with my then boyfriend and he asked “Does this mean you are getting married?”

“No”, I said, “we’re just sort of hanging out and spending time together.”

“Oh”, he said, a bit confused. “Ummmm, do you wanna get married?”

“Someday, I guess so.” was my reply.

This left the door open for some playful ribbing. So I sort of half smirked at him and started in with my line of questioning.

“Well what about you?” I said. “Do you want to get married?”

“YES!” my brother said. “That would be cool. I want that someday.”

I giggled.

“And kids?” I said. “Are you going to have kids?”

“NO! NO KIDS.” he said. “NO WAY!”

He was so emphatic about that. I was taken aback.

“Why not?” I asked, thinking he had something funny to say as a response.

“Because”, he said, “I don’t want them to be dumb like me.”

It was still pouring rain and I just looked at my brother in shock.

I pulled my car over to the side of the road and sobbed.

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I looked at the young boy on the train, the object of their chortles and jokes. He had obviously been affected by these cretins. I had been affected by these cretins!

I could feel the lump in my throat begin to grow.

Suddenly, the young boy looked in my direction and pointed at the empty space where the taunting teens had been sitting.

“They’re dumb”, he said and then smiled a big, beaming, toothy smile in my direction.

I nodded in agreement and exited the train at the next stop.

I walked slowly to my car, step by step, with too many thoughts in my head.

On the drive home I pulled my car over to the side and sobbed.