Stupidity! Makes! My! Head! Hurt!

I just received the following email via myspace (I’ve removed the user id info…though I admit, I was tempted to include it!)

~~~~It gives me a great pleasure to write you and i hope my message will find you in a good condition. Before i move further, let me use this opportunity to introduced myself to you. My name is Dean copper.I am cute,sweet and loving and am a very honest, loyal, passionate, truthful, trustworthy,faithful gentleman,that seek only the very best in life to be happy and complete once again in my life.
You see,When i came across your picture and profile on this site, you seem to posses some sort of magnetic charm that elicited my interest and fascination.My admiration and physical attraction drew forth to you without hesitation because you appeal to my dreams, desire and taste.My sudden instinctive message to you was based primarily on a spontaneous mutual attraction which rendered me helpless and unable to resist communicating with you immediately, please afford me the opportunity to know you.true love can be,distance does not matter if two hearts are loyal to one another., just the true feelings.
Besafe~~~~~

And here is my response:

Ummmm…..my profile is private. So what exactly elicited your interest and fascination? You stated that you hope your message finds me in good condition? What sort of condition would be deemed “good”. My assumption is the condition your are seeking is “desperate” or “stupid”. I regret to inform you I am not currently in either of those “conditions” at the moment. Your message to me was based on, and I am quoting here, “mutual attraction” . This would imply some sort of either interest on my part or even an inkling of who the hell you are. Being that you are just a random thumbnail picture in an email message, an unsolicited message at that, I can safely say there is nothing “mutual” here. I applaud you for being a “mud slinger”. And by this I mean if you throw enough mud against a wall eventually some of it will stick. I hope the other women you contacted with this same message will give the response you are seeking.Sadly, in this case, dear sir, it has flung right back. I thank you for playing but the gong has been rung and your time is over and the large cane is now pulling you off the stage.

Good luck with your Internet stalking!

*head*desk*repeat*