We all come with baggage. Some of us just have a quick carry-on parcel that contains just a few items. Some of us have a full set of luggage. And some of us carry trunks and suitcases that are dinged and banged from years of abuse.
If past relationships have taught me anything, it is that the value is learned only once the “parcel” has been discarded.
However, I don’t reuse baggage and therefore I toss the past into the trunks of my life.
And yet sometimes a parcel is retrieved from the lost luggage bin and finds it way to my door, or my inbox, rather.
And so here I sit, staring at the past that wants to be my present providing me with information about my present in hopes of making it my past.
Sometimes life makes you shed far too many tears.
Is it any wonder people don’t “date” anymore?
February 9, 2009
Many years ago, while living in L.A., I spent the majority of my time at a little dive bar called the Culver Saloon (R.I.P.) It was a tiny litte dim-lit club that had some great Rockabilly shows….and pretty darn rootin’ tootin’ close to home. (Side note: – as with all awesome Rockabilly clubs in L.A., they shut it down and turned it into a Salsa club *sigh*)
One night, I was getting drinks at the bar while the band played and my friends twirled on the dance floor. It was a busy night and thus the wait was a bit longer than usual. The guy on the barstool next to me started to talk to me and before long, we were having a fun little repartee. He asked for my number. I obliged. I grabbed my drinks and headed off to my friends.
I didn’t think much of it until a week later when he called me on a Sunday night.
The conversation was short and to the point – would I like to go out the following Friday for dinner and a movie? A trite cliche but I accepted.
I assumed I may hear from him one more time before the big “date” night – a status check phone call or something. But I was wrong.
Every night….every SINGLE night up til Friday he called me at exactly 8:00 PM to talk about NOTHING….what he was watching on T.V., what he wanted to watch on T.V., NOTHING!
I thought I may lose my mind and was seriously considering putting the big CANCEL stamp on Friday..but I didn’t.
Friday night rolls around and Mr. Suave shows up at my house. I opened the door and went into immediate shock.
He looked like Hot Topic had thrown up all over him! Seriously. He had the too cool “I wear my sunglasses at night” shades on. He had a crown ring on his finger. A button down neo rockabilly flamed shirt. Pre-cuffed (for the too lazy to cuff ‘em on your own) jeans. And the crowning glory – flamed creepers to match his shirt.
*shudder*
I didn’t invite him in but rather grabbed by bag and headed out the door.
We walked down stairs to his Ford Truck with KROQ stickers and NO DOUBT stickers plastered all over the back window. For those who are from L.A. you can get the lameness that is KROQ. For those not from L.A….just accept the stated fact that KROQ radio station SUCKS!
I got into the car and we headed to Century City. I figured we could go to the restaurant section of the mall and see a quick movie and I could bury this date quickly.
He wanted to see a Chris Rock film called “Bad Company”. I had no opinion and was just happy he picked something. He was trying to decide which show we should see…the one that started in 45 minutes or the one that started in 2 hours. I opted for the 45 minute one (wanting to end this catastrophe as soon as possible) and suggested we just grab a quick “before movie” bite to eat. We waited in line and finally reached the ticket window.
“Two adults” he said.
The woman behind the counter printed out the tickets and said “That’ll be $16″.
He stood there.
And stood there.
And JUST stood there.
“Oh…allow me” I said. As I reached in my purse to pay for the tickets.
After the tickets were purchased, we headed over to the food court to grab a bite to eat. He wanted to go to Johnny Rockets. I wanted to punch him in the adams apple and run away.
We went to Johnny Rockets.
After our food was ordered we just sat across from each other in silence. Finally, I had enough and started to just ask basic question about him and his life.
He replied with one word answers. It was like pulling teeth to have a conversation and I gave up just as the food arrived. I don’t even think I chewed my food…swallowed it whole and asked for the check.
The waitress dropped the check on the table and he sat there, not even reaching for it. Finally, I looked up and said..”Since I got the movie tickets, how ’bout you grab the tab”.
He picked up the check and went to pay. I gathered my bits and pieces and was thinking of ways to escape. He drove here so running to my car was not an option. It was Friday night and all my friends were out so calling for reinforcements was not an option. I bowed me head and trudged to the theatre and thought “It’s only two hours, I can do this”.
We got up to the theatre and found seats near the front. The previews started and BAM….a preview for the movie “Blue Crush” started flashing across the screen. Girls…bikini’s…hawaii…water…..it was too much for him to handle. Every time a girl in a bikini flashed across the screen, my lovely gentleman date belted out a loud “Daaaayuuuummmmmm WOOOT WOOOT Baaaaaaaby”.
I died a little and slunk lower in my seat.
FINALLY…the movie started.
It was a typical Chris Rock fare…I am hard presssed to remember the plot line as I was just jumping out of my skin and hoping the movie would end soon. Every time an insult was lobbed across the screen in the dialogue between the actors, Mr. Suave belted a “Daaaaayuuuuuum…that’s Rough”.
I died some more.
FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, the movie ended and we walked back to the car. I should say he strolled and I sprinted actually. We got in the car and he drove me home. As he was driving around looking for a parking spot I said “You don’t need to park, I’ll just hop out here”.
“OH”, he said “I can’t come up?”
“I have to get up really early,” I replied. “It’s better if I just call it a night.”
“Damn”, he said “I had a really great time. I thought we could hang out more or maybe we can do this again?”
The car was at a slow roll and I opened the door, not waiting for it to stop, and hopped out.
As I was slamming the door behind me I looked back and said “Oh well, not sure if I will have time to do this again. Busy life, you know. But the night is still young kid…I think Hot Topic is having a sale…head on over to the mall!”
….and I sprinted upstairs and double locked the doors!
I am still shuddering in disbelief!
Dumb….like me!
September 18, 2008
Very few things in this world make me speechless and very, very few things leave me so angry and emotional that I am left not only speechless but immobile and almost incapable of reacting.
Last night I was on the T. I worked a bit late so I managed to avoid the after work rush and catch a nearly empty train home. I don’t live far from my office and am usually on the T for roughly 20 minutes as I have only 6 stops until my exit.
I left my book at home and had nothing to keep myself occupied for the short trip to my station. I was left with the option of either reading the ads on the train or just sort of “people watching” while pretending like I was just staring into space.
I chose the latter.
As I was looking around the train I caught sight of three teenagers in pure fits of laughter. One of them stood up for a second and pretended to sort of limp and drag his leg and then proceeded to fall back into the seat, holding his sides from the pain of his snickering. One of the other teens started to speak loudly, affecting the speech pattern of hearing impaired person. He then started drooling and giggling as he was egged-on by the other boys.
I stared at them for about thirty seconds before I realized what was happening.
Sitting directly across from these kids was a young boy. The boy in question had Down’s Syndrome and he sat there watching as these teens taunted and made fun of him.
I…..I…..I…..couldn’t say a word. I was so angry I was stunned into silence. The train lurched to a stop and the teens guffawed their way off.
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I have a brother. I love him with every ounce of my being (and probably more than he is aware).
My brother is mentally handicapped. He is a gentle giant of sorts and I have always likened him to a “Lenny” type from “Of Mice and Men”.
Years ago when I was in my early 20s, I picked my brother up from his job. It was a rare rainy day in L.A. and my mother asked if I would take him home so he didn’t have to take the bus in the torrential downpour.
We drove in silence for about 5 minutes until my brother started asking questions about various bits of my life. At that point in time we didn’t’ see each other very often. I was living with my then boyfriend and he asked “Does this mean you are getting married?”
“No”, I said, “we’re just sort of hanging out and spending time together.”
“Oh”, he said, a bit confused. “Ummmm, do you wanna get married?”
“Someday, I guess so.” was my reply.
This left the door open for some playful ribbing. So I sort of half smirked at him and started in with my line of questioning.
“Well what about you?” I said. “Do you want to get married?”
“YES!” my brother said. “That would be cool. I want that someday.”
I giggled.
“And kids?” I said. “Are you going to have kids?”
“NO! NO KIDS.” he said. “NO WAY!”
He was so emphatic about that. I was taken aback.
“Why not?” I asked, thinking he had something funny to say as a response.
“Because”, he said, “I don’t want them to be dumb like me.”
It was still pouring rain and I just looked at my brother in shock.
I pulled my car over to the side of the road and sobbed.
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I looked at the young boy on the train, the object of their chortles and jokes. He had obviously been affected by these cretins. I had been affected by these cretins!
I could feel the lump in my throat begin to grow.
Suddenly, the young boy looked in my direction and pointed at the empty space where the taunting teens had been sitting.
“They’re dumb”, he said and then smiled a big, beaming, toothy smile in my direction.
I nodded in agreement and exited the train at the next stop.
I walked slowly to my car, step by step, with too many thoughts in my head.
On the drive home I pulled my car over to the side and sobbed.
